Shouts & Murmurs

Ways to Measure Time When Time Has Lost Its Meaning

Ways to Measure Time When Time Has Lost All Meaning
Measure time by nail length.
Measure time by stress zits and rate of mental collapse.
Measure time by your body odor.
Measure time by how many times you've watched The Great British Baking Show.
Measure time by the depth of the indentation left in your bed.
Measure time by how many times you've taken out your mom's old guitar.
Measure time by number of new white hairs.
Measure time by the dryness of your aggressively washed hands.
Measure time by how many times Animal Crossing has updated.
Measure time by the rate of increase in dependence on pets as therapy.
Measure time by your mustache growth.
Measure time by your mustache growth.