Trump’s Horrific Spelling Reassures Nation That He Cannot Correctly Enter Nuclear Codes

Trump’s Horrific Spelling Reassures Nation That He Cannot Correctly Enter Nuclear Codes The President’s failure to spell such words as “heal” and “tap” suggests that mastering a more complicated sequence of letters or numbers would be well above his grade level. By Andy Borowitz Not the news. Satire from The Borowitz Report Trump’s Horrific Spelling Reassures Nation That He Cannot Correctly Enter Nuclear Codes By Andy Borowitz 8:20 A.M. Photograph by Josh Haner / NYT via Redux WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s demonstrable inability to spell even the simplest words has reassured many that he lacks the aptitude to correctly enter the nuclear launch codes entrusted to the President of the United States. While millions of Americans have lost sleep over the thought of Trump being anywhere near the nuclear codes, his failure to spell such words as “heal” and “tap” suggests that mastering a more complicated sequence of letters or numbers would be well above his grade level. “Giving one person the power to launch the most destructive nuclear arsenal in the world has always been problematic,” Harland Dorrinson, the director of the Society for Nuclear Security, said. “In their infinite wisdom, the American people have solved that problem by electing someone whose brain would be utterly flummoxed by the task.” While Trump has demonstrated an ability to use simple tools, such as a television remote or a fork, Dorrinson does not foresee him mastering the nuclear codes anytime soon. “This is not exactly the system of checks and balances that the Constitution intended, but we should all be grateful for it,” he said. Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes theBorowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com. Read more »