Wednesday, July 10, 2019

No One Is Trying to Get Into Your Country

Trump Praises Kim on Immigration: “No One Is Trying to Get Into Your Country”

NORTH KOREA (The Borowitz Report)—Setting foot in North Korea for the first time, on Sunday, President Donald Trump praised that nation’s dictator, Kim Jong Un, for his efforts on immigration, telling Kim, “No one is trying to get into your country.”
After crossing into North Korea from the Demilitarized Zone, Trump remarked to the North Korean leader, “Your border is amazing! There are no people whatsoever trying to get in. You should see our border—it’s a complete mess.”
Barely containing his envy, Trump continued, “Of course, you don’t have Congress to deal with, like I do. They’ve caused all the problems I’ve had on immigration. You’ve got a much better deal. You want to build a wall, you build a wall. No one can tell you you can’t.”
Surveying the border admiringly, Trump bemoaned the brevity of his impromptu visit with Kim. “I have so much to learn from you,” Trump said. “You must be doing something right.”