Stupid Golf Problems: Is it wrong to want to play at a leisurely pace?
GLYN KIRK
Last week, a viral image of Sleepy Hollow Country Club's "Pace of Play Offenses" sheet got the people TALKING. We covered it right here on Golfdigest.com, and I even did a little video essay on Golf Digest's incredible Instagram page, asking our 1.9 million followers if the pace of play police had officially gone too far. You can imagine how that was taken.
I try not to read the comments anymore, because it is extremely unproductive. But there is simply no avoiding a stray or two every time you open up the 'gram. A few I saw were "this dude has no family," "you must be a slow player," and "who is this guy?" The last one is valid, but the first two literally could not be more false. It is amazing the assumptions people make on the internet.
Not only do I have a family, but I'd consider myself a fast-ish player. I've played the game for 20 years and caddied for 15 of those. I'm keenly aware of how to keep it moving. But the main crux of my argument is that there is nothing wrong with wanting to play at a leisurely pace, and leisurely does not equal slow. Leisurely is defined as "unhurried" or "relaxed," which is sort of the idea of playing golf. Four hours of escaping from the real world and locking in. But the culture around golf, particularly at private clubs, has begun to mirror our everyday lives. Get this thing done as fast as possible so we can move on to the next thing.
That brings us to Sleepy Hollow's "expected" pace of four hours, flat, which is perfectly fair. To be honest, it seems a little lax. At most private courses, three hours and 45 minutes is the standard for a walking foursome, and there is no real reason it should take over four. But two groups on the "shame list" clocked in at four hours and 12 minutes and four hours and 16 minutes. Is that really that excessive?
Based off some feedback I received, not only from easily enraged Instagram addicts, but people I actually know, is that it is excessive. "How about you're playing with some guys who are terrible, play slow and won't shut up? Then four hours is way too long," wrote a good family friend who belongs to the same club as my dad. "A round should never take more than four hours at a club."
Ahh, yes, circumstances. We can play that game all day, but that game doesn't fit into a two-minute video. I of course agree that a round at a private club should not take more than four hours, but s--t happens. People search for lost balls a little too long. Groups stop at the halfway house and kibitz for four or five minutes while holding no one up behind them (or letting them through!). Some players actually want to make the five-footer for par in case they have that same putt in an upcoming competition, as opposed to having it given to them while knowing full well they could have missed it. It's okay to grind. It's okay for shots to matter. Any or all of these situations could lead to a round taking just a shade over four hours. Should that now be worn as a scarlet letter that brands you as slow? Methinks not.
Of course, these "shame" lists are any private clubs prerogative. But, as we argued on this week's episode of The Loop podcast, we've got it all backwards. Pace of play shame lists should be a thing at public courses, where the expected pace is usually four hours and 30 minutes, though the standard is more like five. And that's being generous! Many of you reading this probably have lived the experience of waiting on every tee box at a public track. Of arriving at a par 3 to see a group putting out, a group standing on the tee, and another group in their carts behind them. Those six-hour-plus experiences are absolute nightmares and can make you never want to play the game again. That is absolutely NOT what I am advocating for.
But the sport is supposed to be an enjoyable respite, not a three-hour sprint to get back to the office. Yes, we all have extremely busy lives and obligations and families. Since having a child, my number of rounds have certainly dwindled, but that has led me to only say yes to special invitations and to truly enjoy those days when they come. And by truly enjoy, I mean a nearly four-hour round with a beverage afterward. Does that make me a bad father? I personally don't think so. Between the speed golf routine and everybody being on their phone all round, I often wonder if some people even want to be out there.
In an ideal world, three hours and 45 minutes to four hours and 10 minutes is the perfect fast-to-leisurely window we should all strive for, and I have zero problem shaming anyone who veers into four hour and 30 minute territory. Anything under four hours and 15 minutes is good by me, though. Take your time over that birdie putt. Wait for the green to clear on that par 5 you hit in two once in your last 20 tries. Stop at the halfway house and ponder over the hot dog or chicken salad decision. The real world will still be there when you get back, I promise.
Do you have a "stupid" golf problem? A question you're too ashamed to ask your close friends? A conundrum that needs to be talked out in a public forum? We're here to help. If you have etiquette-related inquiries or just want to know how to handle some of the unique on- or off-course situations we all find ourselves in, please let us know. You can email me (chris.powers@wbd.com) or send me a DM on Twitter/X (@Cpowers14) or on Instagram (@cpthreeve).
