When leaders destroy meaning (without realizing it)

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By Danny Kenny

4:47 p.m. Slack notification. “Hey, the client wants to see the deck reformatted first thing tomorrow morning. Can you turn this around before you log off?

You had dinner plans that you’ll now have to skip, but that’s not really the problem. You agreed to work hard when you took this job. You’ve pulled late nights before, and you’ll do it again.

The problem is that you know — and your project lead knows — the client doesn’t actually need this. It’s cosmetic: a different color scheme, bullet points instead of paragraphs. Your lead just won’t have the hard conversation to say, “This can wait until Monday.”

So they’re passing their unwillingness to have a hard conversation down to you. You’ll do it. But something shifts. The work you loved yesterday suddenly feels hollow — not because it got harder, but because it became meaningless. Sound familiar?

THE PATTERN

This is the destruction of meaning in real time. It’s everywhere, and it sucks:

  • The return-to-office (RTO) policy that lands via company-wide email with no explanation. Just “we’ve decided” and a date. Your team spent two years proving they could deliver remotely, and now you’re commuting three hours a day because...why, exactly?

  • The layoffs with no context. Names disappear from Slack overnight. Your colleague of five years — gone by 5 p.m. Monday. Was it performance? Budget cuts? Nobody knows. So the silence gets filled with fear and guesses. Top performers start quietly interviewing elsewhere. Your entry-level folks start to wonder whether loyalty even matters. And everyone spends more time managing anxiety than doing their jobs.

  • The project lead who keeps asking for unnecessary client revisions because they won’t set boundaries. You stop volunteering for the interesting projects because you know what comes with them: a leader who won’t protect your time.

What all of these have in common is leadership cowardice — the unwillingness to do the hard work of explaining, protecting, or saying “no.” When leaders avoid discomfort, they drag people down. From purpose to confusion. From confidence to anxiety. And from ownership to apathy.

THE REFRAME

That downward slide is what author and entrepreneur Chip Conley calls “dragging people down the pyramid” of self-actualization, a concept inspired by the “hierarchy of needs” framework from psychologist Abraham Maslow.

Leadership cowardice blocks our connection to that top level — the why.

In Conley’s pyramid, the base is survival: security, money, the basics. The middle level is success: recognition, achievement. And the top is transformation, the sense that your work actually matters. Getting there requires a solid foundation.

People can’t connect with their purpose if they’re worried about just getting through the week. That unexplained RTO knocks people down from “I’m building something that matters” to “Do I even have a job I can sustain?” The unexplained layoffs put everyone back in survival mode, rushing to update their LinkedIn and frantically start taking recruiter calls.

All that uncertainty does more than pull us away from meaning. Stress lights up the brain’s threat circuits in the amygdala and quiets the prefrontal cortex — the region responsible for reasoning and self-control. The result: emotion takes the wheel, and logic rides in the back seat.

It’s surprisingly easy for people to drop down to those reactive levels. That’s why a leader’s job is to secure the bottom of the pyramid first: to create safety and explain the “why” so clearly that people can return to the work they love.

Want to go deeper on creating meaning at work? Check out Chip Conley’s class on emotional wisdom and employee motivation on Big Think Classes. He breaks down the full pyramid and explains how to help your people move from job to calling.

Watch Now

Leaders don’t have to create meaning. They just have to stop getting in its way.

What leaders are responsible for is having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, explaining their decisions, and protecting their people’s time and energy from meaningless suffering. These are the hard responsibilities of being a leader, not just a manager.

When leaders don’t do those things, they’re not just making bad decisions — they’re asking people to suffer meaninglessly because they won’t do their job.

THE PRACTICE

Two tools to stop destroying meaning:

Tool #1: Commander’s intent

Before any ask or announcement, answer these two questions:

  • Why does this matter?

  • Where does it fit in the larger picture?

This is borrowed from military leadership. Commanders in the special forces are not taught to simply issue orders; that’d rob their teams of the initiative and ownership that’s essential to rapidly changing, high-stakes environments. Commanders are taught to explain why the mission matters and how it connects to the broader objective so that everyone has a sense of the bigger picture. It helps the work make sense.

If you can’t answer these questions clearly for yourself, you’re not ready to ask anything of anybody.

Tool #2: The post-announcement check

Before any major decision lands, run through four questions:

  1. How do I want people to feel after hearing this?

  2. What do they need to hear to access that feeling?

  3. What obstacles or worries will block them from getting there?

  4. Am I willing to protect this “why” if challenged by stakeholders, clients, or executives?

That last question is the killer — if you’re not willing to protect the meaning, you’re just creating meaningless work.

Both tools require the same thing: leadership courage. The willingness to have hard conversations. To explain yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. To say “no.”

This week, before I ask my team for anything, I’m going to make sure I can answer the question, “Why does this matter?” If I can’t, I’m not ready to ask.

What’s one ask you’re making right now that you need to explain better?


Related Class


What leadership decision destroyed meaning for you?

Hit reply — I read every response.


Danny Kenny is a behavioral scientist, a writer, and an Associate VP at InspireCorps, where he designs leadership programs and coaches executives at the intersection of performance, meaning, and wisdom. You can find Danny on LinkedInSubstack, and his website.

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