When leaders destroy meaning (without realizing it)
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When leaders destroy meaning (without realizing it)They just have to get out of the way.
By Danny Kenny4:47 p.m. Slack notification. “Hey, the client wants to see the deck reformatted first thing tomorrow morning. Can you turn this around before you log off?“ You had dinner plans that you’ll now have to skip, but that’s not really the problem. You agreed to work hard when you took this job. You’ve pulled late nights before, and you’ll do it again. The problem is that you know — and your project lead knows — the client doesn’t actually need this. It’s cosmetic: a different color scheme, bullet points instead of paragraphs. Your lead just won’t have the hard conversation to say, “This can wait until Monday.” So they’re passing their unwillingness to have a hard conversation down to you. You’ll do it. But something shifts. The work you loved yesterday suddenly feels hollow — not because it got harder, but because it became meaningless. Sound familiar? THE PATTERNThis is the destruction of meaning in real time. It’s everywhere, and it sucks:
What all of these have in common is leadership cowardice — the unwillingness to do the hard work of explaining, protecting, or saying “no.” When leaders avoid discomfort, they drag people down. From purpose to confusion. From confidence to anxiety. And from ownership to apathy. THE REFRAMEThat downward slide is what author and entrepreneur Chip Conley calls “dragging people down the pyramid” of self-actualization, a concept inspired by the “hierarchy of needs” framework from psychologist Abraham Maslow. Leadership cowardice blocks our connection to that top level — the why.
In Conley’s pyramid, the base is survival: security, money, the basics. The middle level is success: recognition, achievement. And the top is transformation, the sense that your work actually matters. Getting there requires a solid foundation. People can’t connect with their purpose if they’re worried about just getting through the week. That unexplained RTO knocks people down from “I’m building something that matters” to “Do I even have a job I can sustain?” The unexplained layoffs put everyone back in survival mode, rushing to update their LinkedIn and frantically start taking recruiter calls. All that uncertainty does more than pull us away from meaning. Stress lights up the brain’s threat circuits in the amygdala and quiets the prefrontal cortex — the region responsible for reasoning and self-control. The result: emotion takes the wheel, and logic rides in the back seat. It’s surprisingly easy for people to drop down to those reactive levels. That’s why a leader’s job is to secure the bottom of the pyramid first: to create safety and explain the “why” so clearly that people can return to the work they love. Want to go deeper on creating meaning at work? Check out Chip Conley’s class on emotional wisdom and employee motivation on Big Think Classes. He breaks down the full pyramid and explains how to help your people move from job to calling.
Leaders don’t have to create meaning. They just have to stop getting in its way. What leaders are responsible for is having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, explaining their decisions, and protecting their people’s time and energy from meaningless suffering. These are the hard responsibilities of being a leader, not just a manager. When leaders don’t do those things, they’re not just making bad decisions — they’re asking people to suffer meaninglessly because they won’t do their job. THE PRACTICETwo tools to stop destroying meaning: Tool #1: Commander’s intentBefore any ask or announcement, answer these two questions:
This is borrowed from military leadership. Commanders in the special forces are not taught to simply issue orders; that’d rob their teams of the initiative and ownership that’s essential to rapidly changing, high-stakes environments. Commanders are taught to explain why the mission matters and how it connects to the broader objective so that everyone has a sense of the bigger picture. It helps the work make sense. If you can’t answer these questions clearly for yourself, you’re not ready to ask anything of anybody. Tool #2: The post-announcement checkBefore any major decision lands, run through four questions:
That last question is the killer — if you’re not willing to protect the meaning, you’re just creating meaningless work. Both tools require the same thing: leadership courage. The willingness to have hard conversations. To explain yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. To say “no.” This week, before I ask my team for anything, I’m going to make sure I can answer the question, “Why does this matter?” If I can’t, I’m not ready to ask. What’s one ask you’re making right now that you need to explain better? Related Class
What leadership decision destroyed meaning for you?Hit reply — I read every response.
Danny Kenny is a behavioral scientist, a writer, and an Associate VP at InspireCorps, where he designs leadership programs and coaches executives at the intersection of performance, meaning, and wisdom. You can find Danny on LinkedIn, Substack, and his website. Work Wise lands in your inbox every week. Let’s get to work. Check out more of Big Think’s content:
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