An endless debate rages on across technological society: What are you supposed to say at the end of your email? Is a cheery “Cheers” too affectedly British (unless you’re a Brit)? Is “Best” hopelessly bland? Can you simply end things, gracefully dropping off after your name until the next interaction, or do you have to list your jobs and accomplishments and vital stats after you say “Bye”? What do you really need to know when emailing another person? And, dear God, are people still actually calling one another in today’s world? (And do you have to do that, too?)
Here’s the good news: Closing your emails is much simpler than you thought. Here’s what to do.
Email unto others as you’d have them email you
Pretty much any question having to do with emails can be answered by referring to what Will Schwalbe and David Shipley, authors of “Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do it Better,” call the “platinum rule”: “Do unto others as you’d think they’d want you to do unto them.”
Think about what would be most helpful to the person you’re writing. Include the basics — title, how to find you, how you wish to be identified — to save them from having to search for that information. Sign the email with what you’re actually called.
“My name is William Schwalbe, but I sign with Will to help them out; that’s what people call me,” Mr. Schwalbe said. Include relevant pronouns, too: “You’re doing them the favor of letting them know what it is, and it makes life easier.” And if you want someone to call you, include your number. (More on that shortly.)
It’s ‘best’ to keep the recipient in mind
Let’s tackle the signoff: those few, important words that signal “we’re done here,” but also, “may we never truly be through” — depending, of course, on whom you’re writing and why.
Mr. Schwalbe’s go-to is “As ever.” But not right away.
“I start with ‘Best’ if I don’t know you, and then if we’ve met, it’s ‘As ever.’ I find it inherently reassuring,” he said. “Whatever you were before that, you still are, no worries.”
Mr. Shipley agreed: “To me, it sends a warm and calming message: Everything is O.K., our relationship remains intact, expect no sudden changes and I hope we can keep writing each other for a very long time.”
That harmonious agreement may be part of why Mr. Schwalbe and Mr. Shipley are friends in the first place. There’s a behavioral principle called mirroring, the subconscious replication of another person’s nonverbal cues, which is a way humans connect and grow closer. This works in email — as long as it’s sincere. Failing to mirror, like maintaining a very formal greeting regardless of what the other person says, or escalating into too-familiar territory too soon, can keep you from building a relationship.
“If someone writes ‘Regards’ or ‘Sincerely yours,’ and you write ‘Best,’ and they stick with ‘Sincerely yours,’ and you write ‘xoxo,’ and they’re still at ‘Sincerely yours,’ you’re like, ‘They don’t like me, this is cold,’” Mr. Schwalbe said.
It’s important, then, to craft your signoff appropriately to whomever you’re emailing.
“Being aware of the relationship — length, formality, professional, familial, romantic, whatever — is key,” Mr. Shipley said. Sometimes you need to re-evaluate, as the entrepreneur Charlie Grosso did after she got married. Her standard “xo, C” didn’t feel right among guy friends, so she stopped using it. She now prefers “Warmly.”
Samantha Ettus, founder and chief executive officer of Park Place Payments, said, “My signoff will always be a work in progress. Like me.” She’s used “Be well!” “Best,” “Best!” and is now trying out “Warmly.”
“Let’s just say, the verdict isn’t in yet.” she said.
Still, there is some debate about whether you need a signoff at all.
“In most informal cases, I think the answer these days is absolutely not!” said Silvia Killingsworth, a digital editor at Bloomberg Businessweek.
“For me at least, email is a lot more like texting or leaving someone a voicemail,” she said. “You can’t go wrong signing with just your name.”
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Don’t use a stock signature
We have different relationships with different people, so why should the end of your email be the same for everyone? “Your signature block for work runs the risk of seeming a little clunky if you’re writing your kids or an old friend,” Mr. Shipley said.
“Depending on who I’m talking to, I might be wearing a different hat,” added Wendy Sachs, an author, speaker, producer and media strategist. “If I’m the author/speaker, if I want to remind them of that, if I’m pitching ‘Surge’” — a political documentary she worked on — “I’ll include that link. Know your audience, so they’re not confused: Who is this person and why are they reaching out to me?”
Mr. Schwalbe added: “When you do this badly, you are creating a big time suck for someone else. Do you have time to be thoughtful about someone else’s time?” He keeps two auto-signatures for different uses: His personal email contains his cell number and a link to his website; his professional has his job title and mailing address. He’ll delete information from his signature when it doesn’t apply.
“I don’t need to send my cousin to my book website every time I write her,” he said.
Consider including your phone number
Elisa Camahort Page, an author and entrepreneur, includes a lot of information in her signature: her name, her pronouns, her many roles, her mobile and fax numbers, her website, her LinkedIn and information about her latest book, including a blurb promoting it. Not including a phone number in a business email signature is a real pet peeve of hers.
“I think it’s a product of a culture clash between the often-in-your-car California culture and the never-in-a-place-to-take-a-call East Coast culture,” she said.
Ms. Ettus was moved to include her phone number in her signature two years ago after listening to the entrepreneur Guy Kawasaki give a speech about how no one calls anyone anymore.
“The number of people who will call you is so small, but including a number gives the impression you’re accessible,” Ms. Ettus said, adding that including her number has never backfired. “It drives me crazy when people don’t have a phone number in their signature. That way you don’t have to dig.”
On the other hand, there are plenty of reasons you might not want to include your number, including potential personal security risks. Be aware, and use your discretion. Implicit in the signature block is the fact that there will surely be times you want to communicate in ways other than email, Mr. Shipley said. “If things get heated or complicated, the phone is better. So make sure your phone number is included if it seems like that might be of use.” (You can always send it as a one-off as needed, instead of incorporating it into every email.)
Avoid inspirational quotes (and these other no-nos)
“Skip the extraneous stuff,” Mr. Shipley said. “Quotations are generally all downside and no upside — unless you’re Mark Twain or George Orwell or Lydia Davis.”
“Trying to fill a signature with bursts of personality can be tiring. That you’re a Bengals fan, or ‘Rock on, Hanson!’ is maybe too much information,” Mr. Schwalbe said. Inside jokes can be alienating; there’s also the risk of burying important information in an avalanche of the unimportant.
“If you write, ‘Please don’t forget to turn off the nuclear reactor,’ and you follow it with the team you love and an inspirational quote, you increase the chance someone could miss it,” he said.
Ms. Killingsworth said that she had never had a signature of her own, but that she didn’t look down on those who do — well, not all of them.
“I think for some people (reporters, say), it probably makes sense to have your job title and your cellphone number in your signature,” she said. “But it never makes sense to have an inspirational quote in purple font at the bottom of all your emails. Ditto your home address in all lowercase.”
These extras also tend to be more about you than the person you’re writing to, and that’s some of the problem. Stick with a couple of links and some kind of contact information. Keep it simple. Don’t use wacky fonts. And there’s never, ever any need to repeat your email address. You’re sending an email, after all. It’s already right there.
This week I’ve invited S.L. contributor Jenny Taitz to tell us why we should stop emailing co-workers after hours.
Sending off an email to a co-worker at night may seem relatively harmless, like leaving a Post-it note on someone’s desk. But actually, it’s more like tapping someone on the shoulder, since most people admit they read and respond to work messages in their free time.
Reduce both your own burnout and another person’s by asking yourself if you are willing to let your message wait in your draft box, or if you can use a tool to schedule your email to send the next morning. Reaching out to someone in another time zone? What a perfect way to show your thoughtfulness by scheduling it to send in the middle of the receiver’s work day!
And if you are responding to a non-urgent email before or after work, notice that, even if you’re getting ahead of your to-do list and proving that you are reliable, you are also reinforcing the sender; you’re essentially telling whoever is reaching out that you are available off hours. You’re not emptying your inbox as much as you are extending it. If you feel anxious, try this experiment: Write out your fears about what may happen if you don’t respond right away, then see what actually happens.
No one should be open for business 24/7. Let’s support each other in actually unwinding.
A version of this article appears in print on , Section B, Page 7 of the New York edition with the headline: How to Enhance Your Signature. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
Signoffs and signatures: Why hitting send can be so fraught.
If you’re not scared about the personal
data you leave behind you as you travel the internet, you haven’t been
paying attention.
I was scared, but I learned this year
that I wasn’t scared nearly enough. Inspired by this wonderfully
insightful — and low-key terrifying — story about consumer
data by my colleague Kashmir Hill, I went deeper than I had been, and I
did not like what I found.
But it’s not all terrifying surveillance
and data theft. This year we also learned how to mind our manners online,
clean up after ourselves, tighten up our security and more.
It’s no secret that we’re being tracked
everywhere online. We all know this; every one of us has a story about an
alarmingly specific ad appearing on Facebook, or a directly targeted
Amazon promo following us around the internet. But as internet-connect devices
become more prevalent in our everyday lives — think smart TVs, smart
speakers and smart refrigerators, for example — and as our reliance on
smartphones increases, we’re just creating so much more data than we used
to. Read more >>
Google and Facebook collect information
about us and then sell that data to advertisers. Websites deposit
invisible “cookies” onto our computers and then record where we go
online. Even our own government has been known to track us.
When it comes to digital privacy, it’s
easy to feel hopeless. We’re mere mortals! We’re minuscule molecules in
their machines! What power do we possibly have to fight back? Read more >>
As more of our lives moves online, good
digital etiquette is critical. Just as we judge people by their behavior
IRL — in real life — so we take note when a person’s manners in the
digital sphere leave something to be desired.
Studies have tried to quantify how long
it takes to make a first impression, with some suggesting it could be mere milliseconds.
Rupert Wesson, academy director at etiquette authority Debrett’s,
cites seven seconds as the time it takes us to make a judgment about a
person after meeting them — and says the same is true for online
encounters. Read more >>
“We are social people, but online, we
don’t have the cues to recognize and really empathize with other people,
how they feel or how they’re reacting to things,” said Mike Ribble, the
co-author of “The Digital
Citizenship Handbook for School Leaders.” We envision the
internet troll, a person who posts inflammatory, antagonizing content
online, as a monster hiding behind the safety of the online world. In
reality, trolls can be friends, neighbors, parents — even ourselves.
And even if you don’t fit the definition
of a troll, which is associated with a deliberate attempt to cause
discord, it’s easy to find yourself wading in the murky waters of
trolldom. In other words, we all have the capacity to engage in
unproductive, meanspirited arguments online that don’t reflect our
character in person. Read more >>
An endless debate rages on across
technological society: What are you supposed to say at the end of your
email? Is a cheery “Cheers” too affectedly British (unless you’re a
Brit)? Is “Best” hopelessly bland? Can you simply end things, gracefully
dropping off after your name until the next interaction, or do you have
to list your jobs and accomplishments and vital stats after you say
“Bye”? What do you really need to know when emailing another person? And,
dear God, are people still actually calling one another in today’s
world? (And do you have to do that, too?)
Here’s the good news: Closing your
emails is much simpler than you thought. Here’s what to do. Read more >>
A direct message — DM — is a one-on-one
conversation with another user hosted on a social media platform. Most of
the places you spend your time online — like Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn and so on — offer some form of DM
communication.
If we need a checkup on our health, our
finances or our cars, we can find doctors, accountants or mechanics. But
who checks up on our digital lives?
There’s no such thing as 10,000-mile
scheduled maintenance for your hard drive or an oil change for your
smartphone. You’re on your own.
Some people go years without giving
their data much thought. As we start a new year, here’s one more item to
wedge onto your New Year New You list: a comprehensive checkup on your
own data.
Following these four steps takes some
time and attention, but it’s the only sure way to avoid eventual data
disaster. Read more >>
