Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Why does Boris Johnson need a jacket that says ‘Prime Minister’ on it?



Why does Boris Johnson need a jacket that says ‘Prime Minister’ on it?

On his visit to a Scottish naval base, the new PM opted for a foul weather jacket, complete with handy description on the lapel
The PRIME MINISTER, Boris Johnson visits HMNB Clyde in Faslane, Scotland.
 The PRIME MINISTER, Boris Johnson visits HMNB Clyde in Faslane, Scotland. Photograph: Ben Shread/MoD, Crown Copyright
Name: Boris Johnson’s jacket.
Age: New.
Appearance: Large, waterproof, Trump-esque.
Why Trump-esque? Is it bright orange? It is dark blue, but it is personalised.
What do you mean? It says “PRIME MINISTER” on it.
Why would anyone give Boris Johnson a jacket that says PRIME MINISTER on it? Is it some kind of joke? Have you been on holiday or something?
No, but I have been in a coma. What did I miss? Johnson, the actual prime minister, was given the Royal Navy foulie – or foul weather – jacket as a gift by the Ministry of Defence when he visited HMNB Clyde, a naval base in Faslane, Scotland.
This is a lot to take in. Trust me, most of Scotland feels the same.
The personalised touch does feel like an American thing. It’s certainly reminiscent of the “Commander-in-Chief” military clobber that US presidents wear with such pride when visiting military bases, or in Trump’s case, abiding irony.
Because he dodged the draft five times using the excuse of bone spurs in his feet? Yes, and because he looks silly in a flight jacket.
How did Johnson look in his foulie? Typically rumpled. Supremely unready for rough seas, gathering storms or long periods under water.
It’s a bit weird walking around with your name on your clothes – a little like having your mittens pinned to your sleeves, or being made to wear your house key round your neck. It doesn’t actually read “Boris Johnson” anywhere on the jacket. Just prime minister.
That’s a relief. We can just take it back and use it for the next person. It’s unlikely Johnson will give it up without a fight.
Good point. Anyway, I’ll bet the MoD have whole racks of them made up ahead of time. They may well need them in the coming months.
What else did Johnson do during his visit to Faslane? He strode about trying to look purposeful, chatted to some submariners and directly contradictedstatements made by his own ministers on Brexit.
A full morning, then. Frankly, I’m surprised anyone let that bumbling incompetent anywhere near a nuclear base. They had to, because he’s the prime minister.
Please stop saying that. The jacket doesn’t lie.
Do say: “For sale, one personalised Royal Navy jacket. Like new, some red wine staining on sleeve.”
Don’t say: “Sorry sir, we’re all out of the prime minister ones. We’ve got two that say ‘Catering Services’ and a mascot that’s been altered to fit a parrot. Have you tried having a look at the online gift shop?”

Black 3.0: Anish Kapoor and the art world’s pettiest, funniest dispute




Black 3.0: Anish Kapoor and the art world’s pettiest, funniest dispute

Stuart Semple was incensed when Kapoor bought the exclusive rights to the world’s blackest paint – so he made what he says is a blacker one and banned him from using it
Black 3.0 paint by Stuart Semple
 Black 3.0 paint by Stuart Semple.
Name: Black 3.0.
Age: Six months old.
Appearance: Very black.
How black is very black? So black you would think: how much more black could it be?
Is the answer none? None more black? Not quite, but it claims to be “the blackest black acrylic paint” – as black as Vantablack.
Oh my God! What is Vantablack? Vantablack, created by the scientific research company Surrey NanoSystems, is one of the darkest materials ever created, absorbing 99.96% of the light that hits it.
What is it made of? It is actually a tiny forest of carbon nanotubes grown on a substrate, but there is a (slightly less black) spray paint version, Vantablack S-VIS, which is licensed exclusively to the artist Anish Kapoor.
You mean only he can use it? That is correct. A section of the artistic community was outraged when the deal happened. So incensed was the artist Stuart Semple that he formulated the pinkest pink ever and made it available to everyone – except Kapoor.
How can he stop him buying it? Online purchasers of the paint are required to make a legal declaration that “you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated to Anish Kapoor [and] you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor.”
Thorough. But Kapoor managed to get hold of some anyway.
Ooh, what did he do with it? He dipped his middle finger in it and posted the picture on Instagram.
I must say, I do like where this is going. Semple retaliated by moving into the super-black game. In 2017, he came up with a paint called Better Black, followed by Black 2.0 and now Black 3.0, which he says rivals Vantablack for blackness.
And absolutely anyone can buy his miracle paint? Almost anyone.
Will I need three guesses? No. Semple sells Black 3.0 at his newly opened London art shop, The Art Shop, from which Kapoor has been banned.
Who says the modern art world is boring and stupid? It is interesting and stupid! There is a full-time security detail posted on the door, armed with a picture of Kapoor. Semple is also asking customers to sign a declaration on entry “to ensure they will not share my creations with Kapoor or his associates”.
Maybe Kapoor could cover himself in Vantablack and sneak past. I think that is the logical next escalation.
Do say: “I see a red door and I want it painted Black 3.0.”
Don’t say: “Sorry, did you walk into that door again? I should really put a sticker on it or something.”


Guerrilla Girls among artists protesting against London arms fair

NEWS
ART THE ARMS FAIR

Trigger warning: Guerrilla Girls among artists protesting against London arms fair with parallel show

Art the Arms Fair's inaugural 2017 exhibition saw a work by Banksy sell for £205,000 to benefit anti-war campaigns

 Courtesy of artist and Art the Arms Fair
Every two years in September a wholly different breed of dealer descends on London with the intention of buying and selling weapons, rather than art.
Defence and Security Equipment International (DSEI) 2019, the world's largest arms fair, opens next month and artists are fighting back. Returning for its second edition, the art exhibition Art the Arms Fair will run alongside the weaponry event, to protest the UK government's complicity in the global arms trade and its damaging effects. Featuring works from the anonymous feminist artist group the Guerrilla Girls and the UK photomontage artist Peter Kennard, the exhibition will include around 200 artists, many of whom live in war zones.
Held at Maverick Projects in Peckham, London (3 September-13 September), the show will culminate in an auction to raise money for Campaigns Against Arms Trade (CAAT), who also help organise the exhibition, as well as the human rights organisation Reprieve.
For its inaugural show in 2017, Art the Arms Fair the artist Banksy provided a work called Civilian Drone (2017), a painting depicting three drones flying above a child's drawing of a bombed house, which sold for £205,000. The auction raised around £250,000 in total.
“The work on display will explore the causes and impacts of war, as well as envisioning a different world,” says Rhianna Louise, one of the organisers of Art the Arms Fair. “The DSEI arms fair brings war and conflict to London. We will challenge it with something powerful, provocative and beautiful.”
DSEI's 2017 edition attracted more than 1600 exhibitors to the ExCel centre in London's Docklands neighbourhood, drawing around 35,000 attendees from around 50 countries including Saudi Arabia. Michael Fallon, the defence secretary at the time, and Liam Fox, then the international trade secretary, were among the speakers.
Andrew Smith, a spokesman for CAAT, tells The Art Newspaper that the arms fair has not commented on the art show. He says that the works on show will "draw questions as to who's profiting and benefiting from the global arms trade", with particular focus on the British government.
The Yemeni artist and political cartoonist Ahmed Jahaf will be showing works that criticise the UK government's involvement in providing weapons to Saudi Arabia used in airstrikes in Yemen.

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