Illustration inspired by Robert Evans’s A (Brief) History of Vice © Nathan Gelgud
Before humans were around, our tree-swinging ancestors got drunk on fruit.
Rotting berries, undergoing an uncontrolled process of fermentation,
were loaded with sugar, and therefore calories. Far from fretting about
their waistlines, these prehistoric primates needed to load up on energy
to survive. So the monkeys who were good at finding fermented fruit
spawned offspring who could do the same. Then, eventually, we got keg
stands and binge drinking.
That’s right, next time you’re hungover, you can blame the monkeys.
Robert Evans, an editor at Cracked, fills his A (Brief) History of Vice with these kinds of anecdotes and history lessons about the human history of evolution, civilization, and debauchery. Nafutian tribes had their version of the United Nations by throwing beer bashes. Sumerians made currency to pay for prostitutes. Plato may have helped popularize the idea of an afterlife after tripping his face off. The history of people is a history of unscrupulousness.
So here, we bring you ten choice anecdotes, factoids, and insights from a long history of bad human behavior.
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